Month: October 2026

“Aging is often a process of adjusting to loss.” That statement was made at a recent lecture I attended related to emotional well-being. The therapist explained that loss impacts the identity each of us has as we age. We adjust by doing things differently. When change happens, we can feel loss. The world starts to shrink around us.

Loss can occur in various forms. I think often about the loss of my parents in the past 12 years. I still have the identity of a daughter but my relationship with my mom and dad is on a spiritual level, which is OK, but definitely a change.

I also think about other losses of friends and family to death. I have only one remaining aunt left when once I had fourteen aunts and uncles. I share these losses with my cousins. Without those parents, however, the cousins drift further apart.

Experts say that aging begins to occur early in mid-life. Into my 7^th decade, physical changes have become more acute. I am slowing down regularly and admit that I have increasing limitations and losses regarding my physical abilities and energy.

Nevertheless, Mark Twain noted, “Comparison is the death of joy.” I cannot help but compare myself to a younger self as well as to others who are younger and still going strong. I tell myself to be grateful for what I have had over the years in terms of good health. Nevertheless, I do not want my world to shrink. I feel like I am in the stages of grief beginning with denial edging into anger.

Acceptance means knowing that changes are occurring. I will be more emotionally well by recognizing the loss of identity but also the gains noted as I enjoy life in diverse ways.

I vow to try to find harmony in acknowledging the positives, and not just the losses, during this period of time. My new identity includes being active in slower ways, appreciating vintage and new friends, recognizing something bigger than myself, acknowledging the wisdom I have gained over the years, focusing on hope, expressing gratitude, and recognizing the need for forgiveness (of myself and others).

My emotional health journey continues as my identity evolves.

“I’m so happy to talk to a real person.” I hear this greeting every once in awhile when I answer phone calls to our Information Office at Rocky Mountain National Park. We are one of the only parks that has such a personal service available. With this opportunity comes a great responsibility to provide the highest quality of information for folks who call, email, or send mail. Because I have been a volunteer in the info office for the past 10 years, I am reminded of the value of good customer, or in our case, visitor service.

Weeks ago, I was renting a car at the Milwaukee airport enroute to a reunion with some Wisconsin friends. We waited in line for about 20 minutes, got a car assigned that was in short supply, went to the car, and discovered someone else sitting in it. The car had been double booked. The gentleman in the car was surprised, as we were, but agreed to go back to the office to see what the problem was. We went to the front of the line as we didn’t think we needed to wait again.

The representative stopped what she was doing, listened to the situation, and told the man he could have the car since it was designated to him first. She assured us that if we waited a couple minutes, she would get us a new car. She was cheerful, took care of the next customer in line, and kept circling back to tell us she was working on the problem. She chatted with us casually as she worked with the next customer in the lengthy line. In about 10 minutes, we got a car with her sincere apology and a smile. Despite the hassle, we felt good as we drove out of the rental car garage.

We have a sign hanging in the Info Office that says,” They may not remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel.” I think about that often as I interact with visitors both in the Info Office and in the park in general. Most people want to do the right thing when they visit but sometimes do not know what that is. They appreciate kind reminders, an explanation of why the policies are as they are, and reassurance that their question or concern is important. I want to be helpful as a five-star helper in the interaction.

I appreciate the help of an authentic person in this world where chatbots and AI are more often the norm. Those mechanisms can be helpful. Interacting with an individual who is positive and competent in their assistance, however, cannot be beat.

Music reminds me of harmony and dissonance, joy and sadness, beginnings and endings. When I hear certain tunes, it takes me immediately back to a time in my life filled with fond memories. Sometimes it takes me to a place where I feel the reminders of a difficult relationship or a fearful time in my life.

I am grateful for music in my life. I enjoy making music and being a part of a community band. Metaphors about music influence my life.

Like a song, life has different rhythms and unexpected changes. Sometimes it feels fast and loud, and other times it is slow and soft. As I age, I especially appreciate the softness of music.

Music has pauses, sometimes short and sometimes grand. Tempos may change slowly with a ritardando or a speed up toward the end of a piece. My days are sometimes similar. Finding a rhythm and adapting to cut time can occur. All goes together to create the mosaic of music.

Pop, rock, folk, and classical are my favorites genres of music but I like most anything that is melodic. I am gaining greater respect for Latin, Country, and K-Pop. I have yet to appreciate all the nuances of that music. Nevertheless, I am willing to listen, and sometimes perform, new sounds and combinations of sounds.

A friend of mine, Dan Dustin, recently authored a book called Citizen Soldier. He described his conflicted experience as a Russian interpreter during the Viet Nam War. The book describes the importance of various relationships he had during his years of service. Although a minor part of the book, he identified the songs that sustained him in the late 60’s. The descriptions of the music brought me back to a time when I could connect to that era even though I had a dissimilar experience than Dan.

As in other aspects of my life today, I recognize that music does not have to be perfect to be meaningful. Music reminds me that life is not just about reaching the final note, but about experiencing and creating something interesting and memorable along the way.