Wandering and Wondering

Only three more sleeps until I am on my way. I am about to embark on a hiking trip in England. We have been planning for months. I look forward to getting away and to enjoying beautiful landscapes (and baby lambs) with old and new friends. As my professional and personal musings demonstrate, I appreciate the breadth of what people call the multiphasic recreation experience.

As a recreation professor trying to inspire students to facilitate activities for a diversity of community participants, I have emphasized that an experience is more than just the actual activity. The whole experience relates to a spectrum–the anticipation of the event, the preparation for a positive experience, travelling to and from, the actual activity, and the memories of the activity. Without those elements, the time spent during an endeavor may not be the same.

Since September, we have planned and consulted each other about the steps needed to prepare. Having others to share anticipation with as well as making sure all are adequately ready is important. I love counting down the “sleeps.”

Last fall I had a grand experience on a trip to Patagonia. Things went mostly according to plans, we had fun, and everyone stayed healthy. We could not have asked for a better trip. Moreover, my travelling friends continue to connect via social media and are planning a reunion this fall. Our recreation experience continues even though the Patagonia activity concluded five months ago.

One aspect that concerns me about people who experience memory issues such as dementia is the inability to fully appreciate the phases of the recreation experience. Looking forward to an event is part of the excitement. A friend of mine does not tell her aging mother about upcoming events because the mother will not remember. This situation is sad. Having something to look forward to is important. I also know that not being able to recall a major activity diminishes its importance. Although I seldom look back on previous entries to my daily journals, I know I can jar those memories if the details start to fade.

Having a remarkable recreation experience depends on many factors. I look forward to the entire spectrum as I embark on my upcoming trip. Anticipation and recollection are essential for a life well experienced.

Trees are a beloved natural resource as I learn more about them. I took trees for granted when I lived in North Carolina and sometimes resented the way they made it difficult to see the wide-open skies. Trees growing in Colorado have become a focus of my outdoor consciousness.

A recent program sponsored by the Estes Valley Watershed Coalition highlighted the future of trees. Research is conducted throughout the US to determine how trees are adjusting to climate change related to temperature warming as well as the result of wildfires.

The essence of the presentation was that populations of trees may go through three stages: resistance, resiliency, and transition. As I listened to the research report, I began to think that those stages also pertain to me as I contemplate aging and change in my life.

Many trees resist the changes occurring in their environment. Likewise, resistance is a common human response to changing environments. Change is good, but often not easy. I hate to be one of those people who talk about “the good old days” but I now understand how easy it is to fall into that trap. I want to resist the fact that my 75-year-old body is just not as good as it was when I was 35, or even when I was 65. Resistance, however, beats giving in.

Since resistance isn’t working for me, resilience has become a new mantra. Resilience is the ability to recover from or adjust to misfortune or change. Trees, as well as resilient people, know that even when things are difficult, they can keep going until they make it through. It takes time and intentionality. Mother Nature takes care of trees, and I am learning the importance of the core components of resilience including connections and positive thinking. My hiking is no longer as fast or as far, and I am adapting to those changes.

Transition is the third stage noted about trees. They thrive by adapting to new circumstances through a period of changing from one condition to another. Trees may find that they are better adapted to higher elevations, for example. Humans may find themselves in new environments such as moving from a single home to another living situation. When the time comes, transitions may be necessary. I hope, however, that I will continue to be active in some way even if it is different than my current routine.

 I recognize that circumstances evolve over time. I hope I can live in the moment, enjoying trees, as well as preparing myself for changes in my future.

As a young person, I loved hearing the deep-throated honking while looking up into the eastern Iowa skies to see V-shaped flocks of Canada geese flying either to the north in the spring or to the south in the fall. I do not recall that they ever landed nearby so I had no up-close association with geese until I moved to Estes Park ten years ago.

A resident group of geese stays year around at Lake Estes. The lake seldom freezes. Although usually migratory, geese in Estes Park stay due to food sources and milder winter conditions. During harsh winters, they may migrate to lower altitudes but that is not usually the case. I go to the lake almost every day to see what the geese are doing.

The geese in Estes Park graze on grassy areas, especially near the golf course and Lake Estes. They are social and congregate in flocks for safety. They nest near bodies of water to protect their babies from predators. Geese are vocal and honk to maintain contact with their flock, signal danger, and/or coordinate movements.

I heard a metaphor about geese in their migratory flights years ago and remember it as I observe the resident geese. The story goes that geese fly in V-formation because it creates an uplift for the birds following behind. This configuration improves their flying efficiency and suggests that teamwork and collaboration lead to greater results.

In addition, the flying geese rotate leadership. When the lead goose gets tired, it swaps back into the formation. Another goose takes its place. Shared leadership and trusting others to lead is evident. The geese in the back are part of the team as they honk to encourage those in front to maintain their speed and direction.

Finally, geese provide a means for support in adversity. If a goose becomes sick or injured and falls out of formation, two other geese will stay behind to help and protect it. They remain with their companion until it recovers or passes away. What a great lesson to learn regarding the importance of loyalty and mutual care in our lives.

I am grateful for the Estes Park geese. I am heartened by the lessons geese are teaching me about collaboration, support, steadfastness, empathy, caring, and resilience.

I love animals. They bring joy to me whether they are domestic or wild, or a combination of those characteristics. In 2024 the World Leisure Journal published a special issue entitled, “Unstructured Entanglements of Human Leisure and Nonhuman Animal Life.” I found these submissions intriguing.

The studies centralize humans and speak to the thousands of nonhuman species that live alongside humans. Animals can provide pleasure, enjoyment, and happiness as well as fear and trepidation. Animals and humans are linked whether they are domestic pets or wild animals that foster joy and respect.

Domestic pets such as cats, dogs, and other species interact with humans daily. I will not expound on the importance of those relationships since folks have their firsthand experiences. I have described my love for my kitties in previous blogs. Anyone who has a pet recognizes the comfort they provide as well as the sadness when they cross the rainbow bridge to wait for us.

Growing up on a farm, I loved the animals we raised. I acknowledged their utility to our livelihood. My dad treated them with profound respect. They had an economic purpose in life that I took for granted. They were not pets but provided an essential commitment and reverence as they lived and died. I do not eat much red meat these days, but when I do, I consciously thank those animals that now become a part of my body and remember how my dad cherished his caretaking of our animals.

I enjoy the daily interaction I have with animals in the wild. I never get tired of seeing the deer fawns or the elk calves. I get excited when I see a pine marten or snowshoe hare crossing the trail in front of me. I love the monthly opportunities I have as a citizen scientist to count elk in the park. I am in awe of these wild animals in my life.

Animal-human encounters, however, are not always positive. I often get asked in the park about bears and mountain lions. People share their fears. The reality is that you are lucky to see either of them. I have been hiking in this park for over 55 years and have only encountered a handful of black bears and have never seen a mountain lion. I remind people that the most dangerous animals in the park are a moose (they are very moody) and/or a mother elk protecting her baby.

I adopt a multispecies perspective on all the relationships I have with animals. Those associations occur everyday. I am grateful for the interactions with pets as well as “wild” animals.

This period marks 5 years since the COVID emergency occurred. Like everyone else, I found the pandemic highly unsettling. Nevertheless, I had my cats, computer, and jigsaw puzzles during this lonely time. I also had the outdoors and daily sojourns into those environments, which saved me. I survived because nature did not have COVID.

Similarly, I feel I am living in another emergency now with the inhumane ways that our government is treating people in our country as well as globally. I am distressed daily by the news I hear. In the same way as five years ago, however, I head outdoors to find peace each day.

I know how lucky I am to live where I do. I have heard more than one local person remark that “at least we live in this beautiful place.” I am privileged to live here since the Estes Valley is not an affordable place for everyone. Getting to view the mountains every day and gather strength from them is priceless.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The world is full of beautiful places. For example, whenever I return to Iowa, I marvel at how verdant the outdoor landscapes are. I grew up in the Wapsipinicon watershed and although I often did not appreciate it as a youth, I got my love for the outdoors as I rambled in that area. Awe-inspiring opportunities occur in micro as well as macro environments.

I seek the outdoors when I want to rejuvenate my soul. Watching geese on Lake Estes delights me as they land and surf on the water. Tracks in new snow remind me of the world that is busy even as I sleep. The sight of the first bluebird of spring gives me joy. The recognition of the call of the red-winged blackbirds staking out their territory reminds me also of the Iowa environment of my youth.

I often write about the outdoors. It is my passion. Viewing the mountains from my house or walking up a park drainage area provides a “joy” snack for me. The outdoors is strength in challenging times. I am thankful for breath-taking landscapes and evidence of abundant wildlife to heal my heart from the traumas of the outside world. I get to live here!

Mom says that Gitch and I will turn 15 hooman years old this month. That is equivalent to 76 cat years—slightly older than mom! She doesn’t know if March 23 is the exact day we were born since our biological mom wandered into a rural North Carolina garage and gave birth to us. Our adopted mom, Karla, chose the day because it was the day her first great niece was born. Regardless, we know we are getting older.

Karla says life is a matter of timing. Timing was the case for Gitch and me. Mom’s rabbit had just passed over the rainbow bridge with her two previous kitties all in one year. She was missing another breathing being in her house. A friend heard from a friend who heard from a friend, that four 6-week-old kittens were looking for homes. The photos showed a tabby female, a gray male, and two calico sisters.

Of course, I am biased since I am a brown tabby, but mom was partial to my markings. When she saw the photo, she knew she had to have me. She drove 1 ½ hours to pick me up. That first night with her was horrible. I missed my cat mom and siblings. Karla let me sleep with her and I settled down, but it was hard. The next day she had a long day at work. I was terribly lonely and scared.

That second night she decided having a single kitten was not a good idea. She called and then drove the 1 ½ hours again and picked up my brother, Gitch. When she chose me two days before, I could tell Gitch was disappointed. I was ecstatic when we were reunited and both of us could now cuddle and play together.

We moved from North Carolina to Colorado when we were 4 years old. It was a good move since all three of us were together. We are indoor cats, and I regret that sometimes. Going outside would be nice. On the other hand, the outdoors is scary with coyotes, bobcats, owls, and hawks in our backyard. We are safe inside.

We are lucky to have mom as our guardian. By the way she hugs and kisses us, I know she is happy to be our servant. As we age, both Gitch and I have health issues, but we are getting good medications and a nutritious diet. I hope we all live for a long time. Although I prefer to often be aloof, I know how good our lives are with our liberal cat lady mom. Happy birthday to us!

Only on rare occasions have I worn make-up. I like the natural look and have never thought that putting chemicals on my body was a healthy idea. However, I love the external adornments of earrings and special rings.

Several weeks ago, I was at a writing workshop where the prompt given by the leader was to write about something we always carried with us. I chose the ring that I now wear every day on my right hand. The ring was crafted from one of the diamonds in my mother’s wedding ring. I had it mounted on a band with mountain images surrounding it. To carry it with me reminds me of my family as well as the natural world that I love.

I have worn earrings every day for over 50 years. When I was in the work world, I would carefully choose the earrings I wore to match my outfit or my mood or a combination. I especially enjoy earrings that show an image whether it is a flower, an animal, or a creative symbol.

Having an affinity to earrings makes gift giving to me easy. I associate some earrings I have with the people who gave them to me. Almost all the time, the gifts reflect something I would choose myself and I appreciate that the giver “knows” me. When I volunteer in the park, I often choose to wear earrings that symbolic of an animal. I like to think they represent the “animal whisperer” in me but I have no proof that is the case.

I don’t think as often about earrings anymore since I am not usually choosing them daily based on what I am wearing. Regardless, I still enjoy the inventory of earrings that I have and what they mean to me.

External accoutrements like rings and earrings make a statement about what is important in our lives. I hope to continue to make those statements about myself as I think about what is important in my life.

My favorite song from Wicked is “For Good:”

“Like a comet pulled from orbit (Like a ship blown from its mooring)

As it passes a sun (By a wind off the sea)

Like a stream that meets a boulder (Like a seed dropped by a bird)…

Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?

I do believe I have been changed for the better…

I have been changed for good.”

I have been lucky to have had “peak experiences” and “moments of insight” in my life that have changed me for the good. I believe in the importance of moments and seek to recognize them when they come serendipitously or intentionally.

Chip and Dan Heath published a book in 2017 entitled The Power of Moments. They contend that human lives are highly variable, and positive moments are dominated by elements such as insight, pride, and connection. Brief experiences can change lives. I discussed some possibilities in the recent blog I wrote about kindred spirits. Sometimes these opportunities happen spontaneously and sometimes they can be orchestrated.

I have long been interested in research on the benefits of organized camp experiences for children and adults. I had a “moment” as a high school 4-H camper that changed my life. I didn’t completely understand what had happened at that moment, but in reflection I realized how significant it was. I had a college aged counselor whom I admired. I was not a talkative person but her parting words she wrote on a card to me was, “Share, share, share, Love, love, love.” My confidence surged after that experience and has since shaped my life.

I am fortunate to have had positive experiences that changed me for good. Receiving recognition and awards has been wonderful. However, moments that change one’s life are often subtle. Coaches, teachers, parents, siblings, and friends have the potential to offer the possibilities of positive moments. Unfortunately, moments can also be negative and recognizing that cannot be ignored.

Many defining moments occur in youth, but they can happen at any stage of life. Being adventurous and open to new experiences may facilitate these moments. They all help me be “the best version of myself.” I hope I can also pay positive moments forward.

“I hope I can run like you when I am your age” was a comment directed to me during a 10K race almost 30 years ago. I admit that my salt and pepper hair suggested I was older than the 20- something who was about to pass me on a steep uphill. I hesitated for a moment and then responded, “I hope you can too!”

I have been fortunate to know many active older people in my life. When I was a member of my North Carolina track club, I enjoyed how we encouraged each other as we got older and moved into new age categories for races. I was always impressed by the energy and enthusiasm for running of a woman who was 15 years older than me, Martha Klopfer. Last year she won the 2024 1500-meter Masters race for women 85-89. Associating with people who remain active into their later years seems normal to me.

I had another experience related to age on our recent hiking trip to Patagonia (see photo). Several of us were approaching or into our 70’s. (I was the oldest). We were going down a particularly steep crowded section of the trail headed to Gray Glacier. Because of the rocky wet path, hikers were kindly waiting to take their turn going either up or down. A young man with a distinct European accent waited patiently and then said to one of our folks, “Can I ask you how old you are?” Kathy looked up at him for a moment, and said, “70.” His response was “Wow!”

Not everyone in our small group of travelers was “older.” However, two fellow travelers remarked to me that their mothers (women of my age) could never do the trip we were doing.

I do not think it is unusual that people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s are able to run races and hike mountains. If that is a part of their lives when younger, it can remain an important part of life. Afterall, as the commercial says on TV, “Age is only a number.”  Living a healthy life impels us into the future. I cannot control how much longer I will be able to be physically active, but I hope I will continue to encounter active folks regardless of their age. I will not let an old lady live in my body or mind.

When I was a little girl, I often felt anxious. My mom always told me to take deep breaths before I began whatever it was I was fearing. That advice has guided me for decades. As I age and confront issues I have with asthma, I am more cognizant of breathing than ever before.

My mom was on to something when she advised about deep and intentional breathing. Researchers have found that breathing is the way to calm one’s mind. Helen Lavretsky, a geriatric integrative psychiatrist admonished that breathing is an immediate tool available to human beings to regulate emotions. I often remind myself about how important it is to “just breathe.” It can influence how I think and feel.

I have had more issues with breathing in the past two years. My exercise induced asthma, which was once easily controlled with an inhaler, is slower to respond. I am especially finding the cold and elevation hamper my breathing. Living where I live, I am concerned. Nevertheless, I am exploring ways to enhance (and enjoy) my breath.

I practice breathing better. For example, my posture helps. When I stand up straight, I feel more air coming into my lungs. In the wintry weather, breathing through my nose seems to filter and regulate the temperature of air going into my lungs. I try to relax into my breath by being as smooth as possible going in and out.

Breathing is something I have taken for granted much of my life. Of course, when I heavily exert, I recognize the increase. However, these days I am more mindful of what my breath is doing. Not only am I aware of my breathing during exertion, but I also use my yoga and meditation to slow down my breath. Research shows that most people breathe 12-20 times a minute. The “magic” number is 5-6 breaths per minute. I am striving for that rate.

My mom knew the importance of breathing when she helped me calm years ago. I understand better each day why that advice worked! I am grateful for every breath I take.