Thoughts from my Great Grandmother

Over 76 years ago, my great grandma Drexler sent a “Welcome for the New Baby” card to my parents. She included this original poem:

To Mother and Dad,

I am glad Karla Ann has come with you to dwell.

She may be like Mother or like Father, time will tell.

I am really thrilled because she is a little lass,

From what I expect she will have some class.

Six great grandchildren I claim as mine.

I suppose there will be more in no time.

To even the number to more boys there should be,

I am trusting you and Jim to that you will see.

Then toward your service you would have a good start,

You would really and truly be doing your part.

If you divide them even you would be discreet,

For your family would be complete.

                                                     Grandma Drexler

                                                   

I enjoyed this poem that my sister found among the memorabilia that my mother kept over the years. It struck me as enlightening given the times and the message.

My father returned from WW II, married my mom, and began farming in 1946. I came two years later. On an Iowa farm, having boys was necessary to help with the farming. I do not think my parents were disappointed with having a girl, but it meant, as my great grandma suggested, a boy should be coming along soon.

The suggestion did not work for my parents as they raised three girls and no boys. As the oldest, I became my father’s helper. I was delighted with that role. I fed the livestock and learned to drive a tractor when I was six years old. Household activities like cooking and sewing did not interest me much even though I learned those things along with farming chores. I was a “tomboy” and loved having that opportunity growing up. I was more like my dad than my mom. Today I pride myself in this farm girl identity.

Boys were desired for practical purposes, but I felt implicitly that parents preferred boys and privileged them over girls. I suspect that this influenced my feminist views and career academic research that examined gender differences and equity issues. I make no apologies for my personal beliefs and professional efforts, so this poem helped me better understand the roots of my upbringing.

I hope the message to girl babies today contrasted to the suggestion over three quarters of a century ago is that females are welcomed and have the same opportunities available that baby boys have for the future. Although I respect the sentiments of my great grandmother, I am glad that the world continues to evolve.