Small and Big Differences

I was at a reunion with a group of dear friends several weeks ago when our dinner conversation turned to our hopes and fears about the future. We were mostly beyond Medicare age and had known one another for over 40 years. One person indicated that she hoped that her life had made a difference. She was challenged by another friend by asking just what she meant by making a difference. I began to think further about this question.

Last year when I wrote about the new year, I talked about not necessarily having a Happy New Year but a Hopeful New Year. I still like that idea and am thinking about the subtleties of hoping to make positive differences in the coming year.

I have concluded that setting out to make a difference is not a realistic goal as a resolution. I am not advocating that people abdicate New Years Resolutions, but I recognize that making a difference, just like being happy, is a process and not a product.

Differences relate to big and little things. It assumes making life better for people and animals in some way. Most of us will not make a big transformation in the world. Numerous little things, however, such as acts of kindness and caring can make a constructive difference in someone’s life even if for a few minutes. Those actions ought to be implicit in our lives. My resolve starting today is to be kind and have faith that this behavior will make an affirmative difference.

I recently read a eulogy about a woman who had changed the lives of homeless people in her community. She had goals in mind for what needed to happen. She quietly set out to help the individuals she met. People remembering her acknowledged that she had made a huge difference through her numerous small acts of caring and kindness.

Mahatma Gandhi summed up my thinking for what guides me into 2024: “It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there’ll be any fruit. But that doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.”

Have a happy, hopeful, and caring new year!