Wandering and Wondering

A friend and I were walking around Lake Estes in early summer several years ago. We came upon a herd of cow elk with two-week old calves. They were so cute! To not disturb, we cautiously took a detour around them. We met two women who were headed our way and excitedly told them about the cows and baby elk ahead. Their response was, “Thanks, but we saw them last year.”

Their response bothered me. I never tire of seeing and doing some things more than once. On the other hand, some enjoyable (and not so enjoyable) experiences in life only need to happen once.

Variety can be the spice of life. In addition, repeating treasured experiences can be zestful.  As much as opportunities can be similar with repetition, many are different depending on the circumstances. Some of the trails I hike in the park, for example, never get old no matter how many dozen times I do them. I see the same wildflowers year after year, and they continue to give me joy. The seasons make each trek different.

My RAGBRAI Friends

Events often change over time. I have ridden RAGBRAI (Register’s Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa) six times. It was fun with my friends and when my parents were still alive in Iowa. I doubt, however, that I will do it again.

Other wonderful experiences only need to happen once. For example, I ran the Boulder Bolder several years ago and enjoyed it, but don’t need to repeat. I have run memorable marathons (e.g., Honolulu, Marine Corps, Big Sur, Drake Relays) and have never done the same one twice.

Friends in North Carolina talked me into going sky diving one Saturday morning. I especially loved the quietness of being in the parachute floating down, but it is a once-in-a lifetime happening for me.

I have a bucket list of countries I would like to visit. I have curiosity about places that I have not seen. I appreciate unexplored places as well as my favorites. A new mantra for me is, “Life is short. Do stuff that matters.” That might be repeats, or new things. I am grateful for choices in my life.

I was 10 years old the first time I flew in an airplane. It was my mother’s first time too. We dressed in our “Sunday clothes” and flew from the Cedar Rapids Airport to Chicago to visit my aunt and uncle. Mom was nervous but she tried not to show it. Her concern was getting motion sickness so the two of us nibbled soda crackers and ordered 7-up from the “stewardesses.” I loved the thrill of racing down the runway, floating into the air, and seeing the structures below become smaller and smaller.

Since that day, I have flown hundreds of times and amassed thousands of air miles. I still find the take-offs exhilarating. I marvel at the concept of flying and how millions of people move around the world quickly. I love the idea of taking a long journey and ending up in a new culture in hours.

Statistically, flying is the safest form of transportation available. Flying is affordable, especially for the solo traveler. Further, I like the idea of soaring above the clouds. One time while flying at night I saw flittering green lights of the Aurora Borealis over Michigan.

Airports fascinate me. When waiting, as one seems to do often in an airport, I see people of all persuasions. I make up stories about where they are going and what they will do. I overhear bits of conversations that indicate the expectations people have for their trips.

Like other folks, however, I find flying to be less romantic than it once was. I still get motion sickness sometimes, and turbulence causes anxiety. Airplane food is non-existent. Sometimes I get bumped into First Class and the food is better. I get frustrated with delayed/cancelled flights and try to be patient. I have always made it to my destination but once got stuck in Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris for three days.

Going through security tries my patience. I remain irritated that my bicycle pedal wrench was confiscated several years ago. I feel sorry for the crying babies on planes and for myself when I end up sitting in front of one. People who take forever getting their carry-on luggage into and out of the overhead bins annoy me.

Regardless, I am grateful for airplanes and the freedom to move about the world. I am also grateful that I don’t fly often anymore.

It’s 7:30 am at Sheep Lakes. Three big brown bodies are wading in the water. Photographers focus their mega-lenses on them. Visitors wield cell phone cameras. I mingle in my volunteer uniform among the folks making sure they stay back from the meadow at a safe distance.

This scenario describes my early Sunday summer mornings at Rocky Mountain National Park in my expanded volunteer role as a Mooseketeer. Although the moose may stick around for a bit, my primary volunteer duty later in the morning will be to assist with traffic control as part of the Bighorn Brigade if Bighorn Sheep come to their namesake lakes to ingest their dose of minerals.

I am learning more about moose every day. I love to see and talk about them in the park. Their presence on the east side of the park is a new phenomenon and they have become common residents. They come to Sheep Lakes to ingest the aquatic plants.

Moose are the most dangerous animals in Rocky Mountain National Park. People worry about black bears and mountain lions, but nothing can compare to an annoyed moose. Although Bullwinkle J. Moose was a benign sidekick of Rocky J. Squirrel, moose are far from docile.

I have encountered moose on trails who blithely walk away when they see me. On the other hand, I have come across them when they quite literally dug their hooves in, gave me the eye, and declared without a doubt that I was the one who needed to move away. I am not one to argue with a 500–1000-pound animal that can run as fast as 30 mph.

Until recently had little interaction with moose. Other ungulates in the park such as mule deer, bighorn sheep, and elk tend to be herding animals. Although more than one moose might appear, I like the independent nature of moose.

I admire their jumping ability. “Exclosures” were constructed in the park to keep elk from over-grazing willow and aspen areas. The fences are six feet high to keep elk out. However, moose can jump seven feet or higher, so these fences do not deter moose from the willow smorgasbords.

The Mooseketeers group is an experimental project aimed at keeping the moose safe from people, the people safe from the moose, and the people safe from one another. We will see how the summer goes. In the meantime, being in the park in the early morning seeing “The Bullwinkle Show” is far more exciting than a childhood TV cartoon!

I once worked as a lifeguard at a 4-H camp that offered 3–5-day camping sessions. New campers as well as volunteer staff were revolving every few days. Almost 55 years ago, I found this turnover stressful as I just got to know interesting people and then they were gone and never seen again.

Dr. Seuss wrote about “the places you’ll go” in the broadest sense. For me it has been the people I have met along the way that have been memorable, influential, and sometimes inspiring.

Little did I realize years ago that short-lived relationships would be part of my life pattern. I was reminded again of this reality last week. I spoke at a leisure research conference in Ottawa. I saw former professional colleagues and met emerging scholars. I had a delightful lunch with someone whom I had not met before. I doubt I will see him again, but I came away inspired by our conversation. I am grateful for that encounter and for the people I have met during my life’s journey.

Being a camp counselor, teacher, professional, band member, traveler, and volunteer are the opportunities I have had to go places and share experiences with others. Some folks have remained friends with whom I stay connected. Others, however, were part of my life for a fleeting time never encountered again.

I cherish my long-time friends. I am fortunate, however, to meet new people every day it seems. Some provide an existential moment not lasting long. The essence of meaningful encounters, however, is the way that I feel during the interaction. I don’t always remember the conversation, but I do remember how positive I felt during the exchanges. I look back with a smile.

Dr. Seuss’s book is a reminder for me to appreciate the journey of life – its joys and its challenges. The book has relevance for all ages as the reader goes on an adventure about the opportunities and trials of life. As I get older, I appreciate daily the friendships and acquaintances I make. Regardless of where I go, I am thankful for the characters along the way who offer me lessons in gratitude and growth.

I am bipolar about tourism. I like being a tourist, but I don’t necessarily like being around tourists. Because of this ambivalence, I try to be a good tourist when I am visiting a place that isn’t my home. Similarly, I am kind when I am around them in my town and the park.

Tourists visit Estes Park and Rocky Mountain National Park year around. We are no longer just a summer destination, although more people find summer enjoyable. Every season, however, holds something special for visitors. Travelling has increased worldwide, and our destination is no exception.

I have worked with students interested in tourism careers for decades, but I have never been a big fan emotionally. Professionally I know that tourism has a huge economic impact on communities. On the other hand, a balance is necessary to address economic importance as well as sustainable environments. It is not either/or but both/and.

I am committed to sustainable tourism. Sustainable tourism refers to a level of tourism activity that can be maintained over the long term because it results in benefits for the social, economic, natural, and cultural environments of the area where it occurs. Sustainable tourism can also maintain a high level of tourist satisfaction and ensure a meaningful experience for tourists while it raises their awareness about environmental integrity.

Another popular term is green tourism referring to any tourism activity operating in an environmentally friendly manner. Protecting natural habitats and fragile environments may best be done by banning visitors completely to these areas. That solution, however, is not viable as tourism is imperative for many local economies. Green sustainable tourism may offer the best of both worlds by protecting the ecology of an area while keeping businesses thriving.

I try to nurture sustainable traveling. Sustainable travelers understand that their actions create an ecological and social footprint on the places they visit. They are mindful of the destinations, accommodations, and activities chosen. I think about how I can best be a sustainable traveler with my activities—using public transportation when possible, reducing my use of water, learning as much as possible about the residents. I also aim to help visitors to Rocky Mountain National Park understand how the “authority of the resource” dictates ecological balance.

RESPECT is the key to sustainable tourism. It includes reverence for the environment as well as for the people experiencing that place whether tourists or locals. Courtesy and gratitude are important components that I try to offer whether I am a traveler or a community member welcoming others to this beautiful place.

I visited my mother’s “favorite” cousin in Denver a month ago. I had been meaning to see her for months and finally made the effort. It was good to reconnect. She and my mom always kept up over the years, so it was a remembrance of something important to my mom.

 “Cousins are the first friends we have growing up.” That statement was true for my parents’ generation as well as my own.

My mom was big about cousins. She came from a large closely knit family in rural Eastern Iowa. She planned “cousins reunions” in her later years. When most of these cousins passed, she planned a cousins reunion for her children and her brothers’ and sister’s families. My sisters and I coordinated the event mom wanted to have. The reunion was fun since cousins were now seeing one another as adults who had not been together for years.

Meints Cousins Reunion Several Years Ago

Marion Garretty suggested, “A cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.” I remember fondly the New Years Day celebrations with the Henderson side of my family. My grandparents were among the first folks to have color TVs. We would gather and awe at the Rose Bowl Parade in living color during the early 1950s. Later on those days, the cousins often did a “program” for the family. One year my grandparents returned from a trip to Hawaii and gave us all grass skirts and leis. We performed a show singing and dancing the hula in our skirts.

Although I was older, my city cousins from Chicago came every summer to “the farm” where they could indulge in farm activities like feeding the pet lambs and harvesting garden crops. One year there was a momma raccoon living in a tree where we had a tire swing. My little cousin called them “toons.” To this day, I don’t see a racoon that I don’t think of calling it a toon.

I am fortunate to have many cousins—20 on my mother’s (Meints) side and 6 on my dad’s (Henderson) side. Although four have passed away, I am able to keep in touch with others via Facebook. I didn’t get to choose my family, but it is a blessing when cousins are also friends.

Mog, looking at the clock that says 5:27am: Shall we wake her up? It IS our “normal” time for feeding in the morning, but Libby and Skyler never fed us until the sun was well up. I’m hungry and I can wait.

Gitch: Mom got home kinda late last night. It was WONDERFUL to see her again. I think we should let her sleep this morning.

Mog: OK, I guess. For a while anyway. She was happy last night when she arrived although a little tired after being on an airplane all day. I wonder what that would be like.

Gitch: I hope I never find out. I am glad to stay put.

Mog: She sounded like she had had a good trip. She was quoting Mary Oliver who stated, “I love travel which reveals something new at every glance, every turn. Pay attention. Be astonished.”

Gitch: She was gone a long time and not paying attention to me. Now that she’s back, it doesn’t seem that long.

Mog: She went to Ireland for the first time. She remarked it was beautiful, lush, green—no wonder they call it the Emerald Isle. She described the landscape as astonishing and loved walking along the Dingle Peninsula cliffs with the ocean down below.

Photo by Deb Bialeschki

Gitch: It’s green here but still snow on the mountains. We will never see an ocean, and I am content with our scenery here. Why does she travel when we live in one of the most beautiful places in the world?

Mog: She likes new views on this big world. She said she missed us and didn’t see many kitties on her trip. I am glad about that–I hate competition. She did mention hundreds of baby lambs and I know she adores them in the springtime. Next to kitties, sheep are the best.

Gitch: She looked the same as she did when she left so I guess that she and her travelling friends had a fun time. What is Guinness anyway? She developed quite an affinity for it.

Mog: The best part of drinking the Guinness was sharing it with her friends as well as the interesting and kind people they met along the way.

Gitch: I’m glad she’s home.

Mog: Me too. I missed the scritch scratches and the warm lump she makes on the bed.

Gitch: It is time for breakfast, isn’t it?

Mog: Let’s wake her up gently and slowly, and let her know we’re glad she’s home.

One person gets up in front of others and tells them what to do. Another shrugs their shoulders and lets someone else emerge to guide a group. Yet another individual describes the situation, asks for ideas and input, and then guides the folks in making a democratic decision. These are disparate examples of how leadership might manifest. A range of behaviors is possible.

I have studied leadership since I was a teenager. 4-H was an organization that taught young people how to be leaders and gave them practice through experiential leadership. I attended a 4-H Leadership Camp as a junior in high school and it changed my life in terms of recognizing my own potential for leadership.

As an introvert, I have not necessarily sought leadership. I like J.K. Rowling’s quote, “It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well.”

I have been in formal leadership positions over the years as president or member of a Board of Directors for many organizations ranging from being captain of my basketball team to Board member and president of national professional organizations. I have sought to model myself as a democratic leader who was willing to lead by inspiring followers who believed in the same principles as me. I have been described as a “quiet leader” on several occasions. I gladly accept that mantle.

I hope, as Dolly Parton suggested, “If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.”

I thought that my formal leadership days were over. I am content in volunteering in positions where the opportunities are clear and relatively easy to perform. I like informal responsibility such leading my friends in a monthly full moon rising walk. I am happy to stay in the background.

Sometimes, however, new opportunities present themselves and others have confidence in my ability to lead. I am about to accept a new formal leadership opportunity. I know I can handle it although sometimes the “imposter syndrome” rears its ugly head. I look forward to the opportunity to shepherd a cause that is meaningful to me. Perhaps leadership never goes into retirement.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes an activity you’ve done becomes better over time as you reminisce about it, even though it may not have been so wonderful at the time? Many activities that we undertake in life are comprised of more than just an actual event.

I loved teaching my students about the concept of a recreation experience. The framework was something that they could understand. A recreation experience was defined by researchers in the 1960’s as a multiphase experience consisting of five major aspects: anticipation, travel-to, onsite activity, travel-back, and recollection.

I used the example with my students that if they woke up this morning and someone told them today was Christmas, it would not have the same impact as all the actions that one takes to prepare for Christmas day. If that Christmas day was over and you had no memory of it, the same enjoyment and significance would not be evident for that year.

A recreation experience is the sum of all its parts–looking forward to it, traveling to and from as in the case of a vacation, the actual activity, and then the recollection and story-telling about the activity. Sometimes an activity does not go as planned, but it ends up in good stories to share with others at its conclusion.

I am about to embark on a 2-week trip for sightseeing and hiking. I am going with three friends. We have spent considerable time planning and preparing. Together we have shared emails, zoom calls, and conversations about logistics and tours we want to do. Sharing in the planning and being excited together has added immensely to the trip even though it has not yet occurred.

I do not know what our trip will behold. I do not look forward to flying for hours, and I want to enjoy passing that time. We are planning for the worst and hoping for the best.

One of the best phases of doing a trip is returning home and sharing with others regarding the activities. I will let you know how it goes. In the meantime, I am enjoying preparation. I am anticipating meeting new people, learning about a different culture, sharing fun with friends, drinking good beer, and having stories to tell when we return to bring full circle to our recreation experience.

I was casually visiting about the weather with several friends. Each of us described an incident this winter when we had fallen on ice. One of the women remarked, “If only we could have 10 seconds back to have done something different to prevent the fall.” That comment got me thinking hypothetically about what I would do if I had 10 seconds back in my life on different occasions.

In the past month of March Madness, several teams would love to have had 10 seconds back. In my basketball playing days, I might have wished for that once or twice, but it makes no difference today. I am thinking about what I can do in the future to use 10 seconds to greater health and happiness.

Getting 10 seconds back is not possible. Thus, I contemplate how I can live so I don’t regret a passage of 10 seconds. If I took 10 more seconds from time to time, I could initiate something that I had hesitated, overlooked, or neglected: a positive comment to a friend, a hug, a note of encouragement. Similarly, I have said some things to people that I probably should not have said. Having 10 more seconds to stop and think might have prevented a hurtful or uncomfortable situation.

One of the reasons that I prefer to write rather than speak at times is because writing gives me the opportunity to pause for 10 seconds, or more, and reflect. I learned years ago that when I receive an email that is disturbing, I should let it sit for a bit before I fire off a response. With 10 seconds or more, I can craft a response that is diplomatic and not regrettable.

I can’t get 10 seconds back, but I can be mindful of what 10 seconds might mean. I found Cheryl Strayed’s (author of Wild) reflection as worthy of consideration: “But if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t do a single thing differently. What if all those things I did were the things that got me here?”

Regardless, I wish I had not fallen on the ice. I wish I had responded to someone in a different way. Coulda, shoulda, woulda! I hope I can learn from using every 10 seconds better in the future.