Wandering and Wondering

Wednesday morning is foggy and chilly as we pull from the utility area in the park at 6:30am. My volunteer partner and I are embarking on the monthly elk count as citizen scientists for Rocky Mountain National Park. We collect data for the park’s elk and vegetation management plan.

Elk once roamed freely in the area. In the early 1900’s hunters extirpated the elk for the restaurants in Denver accommodating the growing residents and visitors on the front range. F.O. Stanley recognized a problem without wildlife for visitors to see in what was soon to become Rocky Mountain National Park. He imported a dozen elk from Yellowstone to Rocky to add to the tourism appeal of the area.

By the 1990’s, Stanley’s experiment was so successful that the elk population was larger, less migratory, and more concentrated than it had ever been. Plus, elk had few natural predators. By the early 2000’s, a proposed Elk and Vegetation plan aimed to cut the number of elk wintering in the park, regenerate aspen stands, and increase willow heights destroyed by too many grazing elk. Part of the plan is the regular monitoring of elk activity in the park and surrounding areas.

What could be more fun than going out early in the morning with the express purpose of looking for elk? Our citizen science role on those monthly counts is to find elk. Armed with a radio, binoculars, and spotting scope as well as a clipboard with the designated route and our data collection materials, we head out. If we see elk on the route, we stop and record the number; whether they are bulls, cows, yearlings, or calves; the numbers on any of the collars placed on cows for various research projects; and the location of the sightings.

The counts allow researchers to monitor the situation and make management changes as needed. Flexibility and adaptation are critical to establish desired future conditions for vegetation in the park and to oversee the elk population.

By design, the elk population is declining in the winter because they are migrating to lower elevations. The aspen and willow growth are coming back. With this growth, beavers are beginning to return to the park and create additional riparian areas. The progress is slow but finding the ecological balance that was badly disrupted is occurring.

I love the mornings I spend looking for elk and recording their characteristics and numbers. Anything about wildlife is dear to my heart, but I especially love making this contribution to science and to the recovery of an environment that can support a diversity of wildlife including elk, beavers, coyotes, and other native species.

I was listening to an interview on the radio and the guest talked about what brought him happiness and what brought him joy. I had never thought about the difference between the two.

I went online later to buy my duck tickets for the Estes Park Duck Race (an annual fund-raiser for non-profits in the community) and the landing page stated:

Joy . . . that feeling of wonderful delight you receive when you do something for others . . .and it ends up making you feel joyful as well! The essence of the Rotary Duck Race Festival is to support PEOPLE HELPING OTHER PEOPLE . . . Adopt a Duck…the more Duck Adoptions you purchase . . .the more JOY you spread around!

What IS the difference between happiness and joy? Both are emotions when one feels contentment or satisfaction. The difference may be based on the cause and the nature of the feeling. The distinction may or may not be important but interesting to consider.

Happiness can range from bliss to pleasure by luck or good fortune. Joy is stronger and less common, and usually results in feeling connected to a higher power or with people such as suggested by the intrinsic benefits of contributing to the Duck Race.

The causes of happiness usually are earthly experiences or objects–an outward expression of emotion in the moment. It can be experienced from any good activity, food, or company. I am happy, for example, biting into a juicy apple. Hearing a beautiful piece of music can make me happy.

Joy comes from caring for others, gratitude, and thankfulness. I feel joy when I volunteer at Rocky Mountain National Park. I feel joy when I am part of a group making music. Joy often is based on a spiritual or heartfelt connection. I am happy to see the first bluebird of spring; watching the birds swarming my feeders on a cold snowy day brings me joy.

Adela Rogers St. John suggested, “Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness—happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you’re lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love.”

In these times, happiness and joy are elusive with the horrific world situation. Further, differentiating and defining happiness and joy may not be necessary. The purpose of life, however, is in living and finding happiness and joy regardless of what the day brings. I am grateful for the fleeting moments that make me smile, and even more grateful for the joyful opportunities to associate with other like-minded people as well as to connect with something greater than myself.

One of the binary assumptions that perplexes me is the idea of having only an introvert OR extrovert personality. I think about myself and the people I know/meet and where we fall on what I believe is a spectrum or continuum.

I would classify myself as an extroverted introvert. I was more extroverted when younger, but I have been mostly introverted much of my life. This personality may explain why I like to sit alone and write. I would never be described as the life of any party. On the other hand, I like parties (for a while) and I enjoy being social.

Continuum:

Introvert——————-KH———————-NR–Extrovert

Research says that genes influence one’s personality. I am a product of a mom who was more extroverted than introverted and a father who was quite introverted and shy. I like that I have both of their traits. In the big picture, however, I am more like my dad. Nevertheless, personalities also are shaped by life experiences.

Not all introverts or extroverts are the same because most of us are a mixture of both. Introverts, however, are generally reserved. I like to be with people, and I need time away to recharge. I like small groups of people. I can assume leadership when necessary and I am also glad for others to lead if they are headed in (what I consider) the right direction. I do not turn down invitations to social gatherings, as I know I will enjoy one-on-one conversations. I prefer more meaningful discourses than small talk. I often need time to think and reflect before I speak.

The writing life involves spending time alone. I do not work well in crowded environments, and I prefer writing at home, at my desk, rather than being in a coffee shop or even at an office. I like being “in my head.” I favor calm, minimally stimulating settings.

I wish I was more extroverted, but over the years I have learned to surround myself with extroverts and the pressure is taken off to be in the spotlight. I appreciate my friends regardless of where they are on this continuum. One reason I have been thinking about extroversion and introversion is because of the recent passing of a dear friend who was an extroverted extrovert.

I admired Nina (NR) in many ways because of her extroversion. She was an outgoing passionate person who naturally drew people to her. She liked being the center of attention and that served her well in getting things done and inspiring others. Being who she was did not mean that she did not think deeply and have meaningful relationships. She exuded her enthusiasm as a true extrovert. It feels like just a little less energy in the universe today. My introverted self will miss this wonderful, extroverted friend.

When I was growing up, I used to play Cowboys and Indians with the neighbor boys. I always wanted to be an “Indian.”  American Indians intrigued me. I also did not have a saddle for my Appaloosa, so I had to ride bareback like they did on the TV shows and movies. I had a stereotyped picture of Indigenous people, but my interest in native cultures has grown over the years.

The movement to provide acknowledgements for Indigenous peoples heartens me. I was introduced to recognizing First Nation peoples when I attended a conference in Australia years ago. Since then, I have thought often about the people that inhabited the world’s lands before white people colonized these areas. I am increasingly aware of the significance of Native Americans in the West. I want to honor the Indigenous peoples everywhere I have lived.

Acknowledgements and reparations cannot make up for the treatment of these peoples. However, I want to remember the groups who came before me who aimed to preserve this natural world so I could enjoy it today.

I learned a little about Native Americans (Ioway, Sauk and Meskwaki, Očhéthi Šakówiŋ) in my 8^th grade Iowa history class. Iowa is named for the Ioway people. I worked as a professional 4-H Youth Leader in Tama County, Iowa, upon graduating from college. Tama County is home to the Sauk and Meskwaki Indians who were pushed from their lands and later were able to return by buying back the land. This work experience first exposed me to an understanding of “culture” that continues to inform my thinking.

I lived in Minnesota (Wahpekute, Očhéthi Šakówiŋ) and Wisconsin (Kiikaapoi-Kickapoo, Peoria, Sauk and Meskwaki, Myaamia, Hoocąk-Ho-Chunk, Očhéthi Šakówiŋ) and knew nothing about the Indigenous people who were native to those states. I did not know that land names came from the native people who once occupied the area. For example, Wisconsin (originally “Meskonsing”) is the English spelling of a French version of a Miami Indian name for the Wisconsin River that runs through the state. Minnesota is a Dakota name. Mni is the native word for water.

In northern Texas (Kiikaapoi-Kickapoo, Tawakoni, Wichita) I was not exposed to anything related to Indigenous people. My experiences were similar in North Carolina (Shakori, Occaneechi, Saponi, Lumbee).

I now call home the landscape where the Cheyenne, Arapaho, and Núu-agha-tʉvʉ-pʉ̱ (Ute) people lived and continue to live. They were nomadic in the area, but summers especially in what is now Rocky Mountain National Park, provided traditional hunting grounds.

Acknowledging the history is important but more important is remembering that American Indians are present today. Reflecting on Indigenous cultures challenges me to respect the land and preserve natural environments as these people did for centuries.

If you want to know Indigenous people who once lived in an area, you can go to https://native-land.ca/

The past two times I have stayed in friends’ homes, I have made it a point in planning to ask whether they had coffee in the house or whether I needed to bring my own. I recognized that this need/desire was a high priority of mine and an essential part of my morning. I had to ask!

You could say that I am a coffee addict, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I drink less coffee than I used to drink but having a couple cups remains a major joy of my early morning.

My parents drank coffee and I thought it smelled and tasted delectable. However, true or not, mom told me it would stunt my growth and I wanted to be a tall basketball player. I didn’t start drinking coffee until I was a senior in high school and realized I was probably not going to get taller.

Although I can still drink most any coffee available to me, I gravitate to bolder and stronger blends. I am also a coffee purist–coffee and a little cream. None of these fruit flavored lattes!

Coffee is now grown worldwide. Its heritage, however, apparently comes from ancient forests on the Ethiopian plateau. The legend says a goat herder first discovered the possibilities of the beans when he noticed that when his goats ate the berries from a particular tree, they became extremely energetic and did not want to sleep at night. A monk in the area experimented with making a drink with the berries and it kept the monks alert during evening prayers. The rest, as they say, is history.

My favorite coffee shop and where I purchase all my beans is Kind Coffee in Estes Park. A former UNC-CH student in our undergraduate degree program is the owner of the shop. She believes in fair trade coffee, organic production, and the philosophy of “being kind.” The website states the Dalia Lama philosophy: BE KIND WHENEVER POSSIBLE. IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE.

Kind Coffee is an active member of the organization, 1% For the Planet, which is an alliance of businesses committed to leveraging their resources to create a healthier planet. Members donate at least 1% of their net revenues and believe that taking environmental responsibility is good for business.

The owner of Kind Coffee, Amy Subber Hamrick, once apologized to me that she had not gone into a traditional parks and recreation career. I can think of nothing more leisure oriented than running a socially responsible business that enables people to enjoy coffee and come together in a social setting.

Whether drinking coffee by myself in front of my computer in the early morning, or meeting friends for coffee, I am grateful for that goatherder who discovered the marvels of coffee centuries ago.

It is March Madness. Aristotle suggested that “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” That idea applies to people who love basketball this time of the year.

The only real spectator sport I watch other than the Olympics is College Basketball (both men and women). Once upon a time years ago, I played basketball in a world different than today, especially for women.

I look forward to this crazy time of the year and adjust my schedule to binge watch as much as possible. I have favorite teams. I always enjoy a good game, however, no matter who is playing and like to cheer for the underdog. I am glad I do not have an investment in some games as it keeps my heart rate lower.

I wasn’t always a big college basketball fan until I moved to North Carolina and specifically, the Research Triangle of Chapel Hill, Raleigh, and Durham. It was almost impossible not to be a basketball fan if you wanted to be conversant with anyone from November through March.

One of the biggest faux paus I ever made was within the first few weeks of moving to North Carolina. Colleagues invited me to an exhibition game the UNC Tarheel Men were playing. We were watching the warm-up and I leaned over casually and said, “Now, who is our coach?” Three people’s eyes grew huge as they looked at me aghast. Finally, one person blinked and said, “It’s Dean Smith.” I had not followed college basketball for years. I NEVER made that mistake again. 

I played basketball all through high school. Rural Iowa was a haven for girls’ basketball throughout much of the 20th century. In my days, it was half court with three forwards and three guards on each side. Iowa girls’ basketball in that day also had a two-dribble limit and you either had to pass or shoot after the dribbles.

As a forward, with only two people scoring, it was not hard to rack up points. I seldom brag, but I hold the all-time scoring record for Coggon High School (61 points in a game). It will always stand since I played for a merged school district, North Linn, my senior year. Further, I was not tall (5’5″), but most teammates were average height. I would have loved to play competitively in college, but I had other career ambitions.

Everybody with any interest in March Madness knows about “brackets.” I used to fill them out religiously, but they usually got BUSTED the first day.

Basketball is a great March diversion as I await the unfolding of spring. I feel a bit of emptiness once the Madness is over. But then, there is always next year… 

March is Women’s History month. Pausing to remember the contributions of women is delightful. I welcome the day, however, when women are part of all written history. Honoring “women firsts” is vital and I hope someday identifying any woman as the first will not be necessary.

Gerda Leaner was one of the first well known historians to write about women history in the early 1970s. She advocated for the inclusion of women in all of history and particularly noted the lack of information about Black women. Further, Lerner promoted not only the need to acknowledge famous women but also to recognize the contributions of ordinary women who labored, often invisibly, to improve family and community life.

One example of the numerous contributions of women that have not always been noted is the new Estes Park Women’s Monument dedicated in September 2021. It depicts images and the lives and brief stories of a dozen women of various backgrounds that were part of the fabric of life in Estes Park during its 100-year history. The center of the plaza is a sculpture of a little girl and Helen Hondius, a central figure in the community who among other endeavors, was instrumental in funding the library.

When I think of women who contributed to everyday history, I think of my mother and all her efforts for our family and as an elementary school teacher and community volunteer. As a small token of her work, I purchased a brick in her honor at the Plaza of Heroines outside of the Carrie Chapman Catt Building at Iowa State University.

Catt was a distinguished alumnus of Iowa State’s class of 1880 and was a leader in the US women’s suffrage movement and a crusader for women’s rights across the world. Marjorie A. Henderson’s brick joins 3900 other women who made an impact on individuals, families, communities, and society. The description I included to describe my mom was: “Mother, Teacher, Community Volunteer.”

I appreciate the stories about women during Women’s History Month. Honoring the accomplishments of women is significant. I look forward to a time when both men and women will be remembered similarly for their important and unique contributions to history.

I regret some things in my early life and want to reconcile as I reflect on my current life. I acted in my early days in a way that I would never contemplate today. I was a bounty hunter and I cannot undo my now regretted sins.

As a child, I learned to fish and hunt on our family farm. I caught fish, and sometimes we ate them. I hunted squirrels and rabbits and killed a couple. Neither one was good to eat, and I really didn’t enjoy shooting a gun. My admission is, however, that I killed dozens of gophers as a farm kid in the 1950s and got paid for those efforts.

Pocket gophers were a nuisance on our farm. They dug mounds to make their tunnels and then badgers went after them and dug even bigger holes to catch them. If gophers were gone, the badgers would not be a problem.

The county where I lived put a bounty on gophers. Turning in pairs of the front feet strung on a wire was worth $.25 a pair. My dad made trapping more lucrative by giving me another $.25 for each pair of feet.

Spring and early summer was the trapping season. Dad taught me how to find the gopher hole by noting the way the dirt mounded and then digging a hole. I hid a small jaw trap at the trail intersection designed to catch the gophers’ front feet. I checked the traps every 24 hours early in the morning. If a gopher was caught, it was usually still alive. I killed it with a concussive blow from my shovel to its head. I cut off the front feet and buried the dead gopher back in the hole.

After three summers of trapping, I extirpated most gophers and moved on to other less violent interests. In graduate school, however, I read Aldo Leopold’s book, A Sand County Almanac. He describes shooting a wolf:

“We reached the old wolf in time to watch a fierce green fire dying in her eyes. I realized then, and have known ever since, that there was something new to me in those eyes – something known only to her and to the mountain.”

Leopold never killed a wolf again. I think about the dying light in those gophers’ eyes and know today I could not consciously kill another living mammal.

I am not opposed to ethical hunting when the playing ground is level between humans and animals. Hunting and fishing for food have importance for people.

Today, however, I live my life in reverence for animals of all kinds. I offer grace to the domestic animals that nourish my body. I respect the circle of life in the outdoors. If the ecological balance gets uneven, I believe science can be useful to manage land and animals. For me, however, my killing days are over.

My favorite place to walk when I don’t have the time to go into the park is Lake Estes. I savor the changing skies, water, and wildlife. Every day is different. I am open to serendipitous moments on my lakeside walks.

No matter the weather and dependent on my schedule and inclination, I go to the lake most days. Early in the morning is peaceful. Moonlight walks open up a new world of diminished light and reflections on the water. I cherish the quietness when snow is lightly falling. The environment is everchanging but it’s a perfect scene.

When I was working full time, I often did not notice the world around me. I was outside most days running, since one could do that in North Carolina, but I usually did not discern the changes in my environment on a day-to-day basis.

Living in Colorado and having a lake within walking distance of my house are giving me insights on bioregionalism. Bioregionalism is being consciously aware of the ecology, economy, and culture of the place where one lives. I like living a rooted life, living in place. My almost daily visits to Lake Estes anchor me.

The culture of people I meet at Lake Estes is a combination of regulars as well as visitors. I frequently see one woman walking her young labradoodle who is full of energy. A volunteer from the animal shelter often is there with one or more dogs for me to meet. Runners abound along the pathways. My favorite people are those who comment about the beauty of the lake area. One day I passed a woman who turned around as a flock of geese flew over and enthusiastically pronounced, “I never get tired of this.”

My hope each day is to see the wildlife. Elk and deer are common since part of the path borders the manicured green golf course. More than once I have had to make a detour because of elk on the trail.

The trail goes through a protected bird sanctuary, and I can always count on waterfowl on the lake. The geese live on the lake year around. Other birds are sometimes in migration. I see a pair of bald eagles frequently that call Lake Estes home.

This winter a rare event occurred at Lake Estes. In early January, three trumpeter swans flew in. They were blown off their migration path. People were excited to see them and hurried to the lake to take photos. Several weeks later they are still at the lake.

I don’t blame those swans for staying. Although I have been living around Lake Estes for almost eight years, I have no desire to leave. The swans and I both appreciate bioregionalism. Every day roots me more deeply in this place.

When I was 8 years old, I was a really good baseball player. I worked hard to become a hitter and I could catch and field better than most boys in my class. For hours, I threw a rubber ball up against our house and batted it back. I wanted to play Little League like my male classmates. My mom and dad, in their wisdom, did not tell me no but took me to the ballfield to talk to the Little League coach. I marched up to him and declared my intention to play on his team.

The coach smiled and tried to be kind, “Little League is only for boys but someday you can play softball on the high school girls’ team.” That day was my first encounter with a budding feminism and the injustice of gender roles.

I mostly accepted the roles of being female growing up, but I never liked it. Although I enjoyed science, my high school math teacher said girls usually were not good enough in math to do science. Going to college was fine and I had three choices for a career—teacher, secretary, or nurse. I chose teaching, and I do not regret my career. I am proud that later I aced five statistics courses in graduate school and became a social scientist.

I don’t recall knowing how feminism might be helpful to me until I went to college and eventually was exposed to the early popular feminist literature such as The Feminine Mystique (Friedan, 1963). I was committed to the Equal Rights Amendment and wore an ERA bracelet every day until it broke in half (an omen to what would happen in the future).

I was engaged in the Second Feminist Movement of the 1980s (the first era was in the early 1900s focused primarily on women’s suffrage). The second wave was about equality for women in all realms of society. With my colleagues, I wrote one of the first books about women’s leisure: A Leisure of One’s Own: A Feminist Perspective on Women’s Leisure. Our second book connected more with the third wave of feminism emphasizing the different experiences of women and the need for varied approaches: Both Gains and Gaps: Feminist Perspectives on Women’s Leisure. Feminism has nuances that continue to evolve.

Back when I was 8 years old and still today, I believe as Gloria Steinem suggests, a feminist is “anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.” Mary Shelley summed it well when she stated, “I do not wish women to have power over men, but over themselves.” Feminism has been a dynamic tool that has allowed me to look at the world not as it is, but for its potential for all people and especially little girls who want to play baseball.