I usually start putting together ideas for a blog posting weeks ahead of time. I jot ideas about what I want to say. I planned to write about a Chinese proverb I stumbled upon: “Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.” I wanted to reflect on how this idea related to my acceptance of aging. It would be a lament about my physical slow down.
Things happen, however. Last week I had to stop and stand still for a while. I contacted a terrible cold—went to the doctor and confirmed it was not COVID, Flu, pneumonia, or RSV but an old fashioned cold that I had not had for years. I felt miserable. Due to asthma issues, the bug hit my lungs. Moving around in my house was a physical and mental struggle. Doing nothing/standing still was a better alternative to going a snail’s pace!
Most of my life has been a whirlwind of activity. I have not lived in the proverbial slow lane. I have prided myself in moving quickly, reading fast, typing rapidly, and multi-tasking. A cat once taught me to move a bit slower in my house. She jumped up and ran away whenever I popped up quickly from sitting in a chair. If I moved slowly, she was much happier.
My mother bemoaned that when she was in her early 80s she just did not have the same endurance she used to have. I wish I had talked to her more about how she felt as I am going through a similar experience. I am hopeful, but doubtful, that I will get back to normal energy, whatever that is.
Consciously slowing down has enabled me in retirement to be more mindful and to absorb the world more fully. Coming to a standstill, however, has been difficult. CHOOSING to slow down or come to a standstill is different than having it forced upon me. Cursing slowness is not as bad as no movement whatsoever.
I feel better this week. Being patient with myself is not my strong suit. I work on adjusting to slowness, however, as it seems inevitable. I am gaining a deeper appreciation of growing slowly and doing what I can to avoid future times of standstill.
Well, I like (and related to) this one a lot. It is always surprising to me when I struggle or take longer with something that in that past I could do without even thinking about it. I think that is the wake up call to getting older. I honestly can’t believe I am as old as I am. I don’t feel old but then my body occasionally gives me some kind of wake-up call. I guess it is just trying to prepare me for the inevitable. I don’t look forward to having to deal with “being older” but like mom says, “it is what it is”. So I’ll take the days as they come- I think I’ll be happy enough. After all, I think I’ve been lucky in getting to do what I have, and there will be way more good to come. I might just do them a little slower or a little less 🙂
Yes, it is what it is. In some ways we have a lot of control, and in other ways none at all. It is nice to know that we have friends to grow “old” with. Thank you, my friend.
Sorry about your terrible cold. I have been dealing with a “worn out shoulder” as my sports doc said to me after the MRI. I go today for a steroid shot and to find out about possible surgery. She advised me to let CrossFit “go” for a bit as so many movements require shoulder and bicep muscles. I, like you, want to feel like I’m 40 again (or even 60!) but we are not. I have been trying to walk/hike more but the almost constant rains have kept me off the trails. So my buddy, you and I will enjoy the Dingle Peninsula in our slow and quiet way.
I look forward to sharing the “growing” process together. Hiking in Ireland will be an opportunity to go slowly and appreciate the adventure. It can also give purposeful opportunities to “stand and stare” as I learned from you last year!