Friends I will remember you, think of you
Pray for you
And when another day is through
I’ll still be friends with you
John Denver
John Denver’s song, Friends with You, has always been a favorite of mine. I was talking to a friend I met over 40 years ago in Wisconsin, and we were remarking about the length of our friendship and the number of friends we had encountered over the years. Denver also noted that one of the gifts of growing old is having stories to be told. Friends have evolved in my life as I change, and circumstances change. Some friends come for a short time. Many friendships last a lifetime.
I think about friends in two ways: circles and affinities. One circle surrounds me closely. This first small circle includes emotionally supportive friends that I have a consistent sharing of daily activities and decisions. The second circle going outward is friends that I see or communicate with on a somewhat routine, but not daily, basis. We enjoy each other’s company and would help each other in a moment’s notice if needed.
The third expanding circle is people with whom I might not have frequent contact, but I keep up with the ups and downs of their lives from time to time. I know they are in my corner and they know I will always be there for them. Probably a final circle is Facebook friends. Some inhabit other circles, and some folks are just interesting and special people to follow. They add an additional dimension to my life.
Another way I categorize friends are those with whom I have established affinities because of common interests. I think about friends made through groups such as running clubs, hiking/trip adventures, and writing groups. I have classmates that I have known for decades. In addition, band, volunteering, and professional associations are sources of friendship. Some friends become friends through their association with other friends. Friendship circles and affinities can always expand.
I am lucky to have a variety of new friends where I now live. Two years ago I had shoulder surgery and couldn’t drive for three weeks. My neighbors who lived across the street remarked about all the different cars that pulled into my driveway to bring me food and take me places. I am grateful for these recent networks.
Not all friends are friends for life. Unfortunately, I have lost special friends due to death. Some friends have drifted away for lack of nurturing those relationships. I have not put energy into keeping friendships with people whom I learned I could not trust. Some friendships are conditional.
My mother had a cross stitched wall hanging in our house on the farm. I now have it in my house. In addition to John Denver’s words about the friends we have in time, these sentiments are special to me: “Remembrance is the sweetest flower of all the world’s perfuming. Memory guards it sun or shower, friendship keeps it blooming.”
Wonderful – great observations about friends and friendship in one’s life. In the elder years, friendships become about the most important element in life. As usual, thanks, Karla – great observations. ANNE
I am so glad you are one of my “newer” friends with our fun association through the writing group. I so much appreciate all your support for me and our group.
Have you heard of Dunbar’s number – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar%27s_number? Dunbar theorized that humans can maintain 150 connections at once: 5 loved ones; 15 good friends; 50 friends; 150 meaningful contacts; and 1500 you can recognize if you see them on the street. After reading about this in “The Midnight Library,” I have been sorting my connections into these differing groups. I have always questioned the use of “friends” on Facebook and I now critically analyze who I accept as FB “friends.” I think of our friendship which goes back to WI (1980’s) and think Wow! how did that happen?” I have ALWAYS enjoyed my time and conversations with you – in a tent, on a bike or hike, or drinking a beer. I hope I’m in the “meaningful contact” circle in yours. Thanks for your friendship over the years…
You are definitely one of my most cherished friends even though we don’t see each other real frequently. We do have our professional connections and you are one of the people I really enjoy on Facebook. I, too, question whether FB is really friends, but it does help me keep connected with people on a more regular basis like you! I loved “The Midnight Library.” I hope we will continue to be friends in many meaningful ways in the future, and I hope I can reschedule my visit to Sacramento sometime in the next year.
This topic is a really good one… I can hardly remember a time when I didn’t know you as a friend! 1977 was a very long time ago- we’ve been down many a path together over those years (literally and figuratively :)) and I hope it’s that way until my last breath. The strength of friendships is something I have never figured out over the years… why one person but not another?? I’m just glad that for whatever reason, you and I ended on this friend path together. 🙂
You are definitely the most inner circle for me. I, too, hope that continues for many years to come!
Loved what you had to say about friendships. This poem has been one of my favorites for a long time and I find it to be so true. You have probably read it before but I thought I would share just in case you haven’t seen it.
Reason Season Lifetime Poem
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— UNKNOWN AUTHOR
Thanks so much for sharing the poem, Kathy. You are one of those friends that go WAY back and I am so happy we have re-connected in the past couple years through FB and your following my blog. I hope that we can meet in person again and that we can continue to nurture this “lifetime” friendship.
I would love that. We are hoping to head West in September, if we do I will get a hold of you.
Thanks for sharing excellent informations. Your web site is very cool. I’m impressed by the details that you抳e on this web site. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched all over the place and simply couldn’t come across. What an ideal site.
I抦 impressed, I need to say. Really rarely do I encounter a blog that抯 each educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Your thought is excellent; the issue is one thing that not enough people are talking intelligently about. I am very completely satisfied that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for something regarding this.
Please let me know if you’re looking for a article author for your site. You have some really good articles and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an e-mail if interested. Regards!
Thank you so much for providing individuals with an exceptionally brilliant possiblity to read from this site. It is usually very cool and packed with a good time for me personally and my office mates to search your web site at a minimum thrice weekly to see the new items you have. And of course, I am just always pleased with the effective inspiring ideas you give. Selected 1 ideas on this page are essentially the very best we’ve had.