I have Imposter Syndrome. Although the term has been coined recently, I have struggled with this feeling all my life even though it has not prevented me from trying hard. I can relate to Georgia O’Keefe who stated, “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life-and it never kept me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.” I am afraid I might fail. Worse, when I have succeeded, I have doubted the success. I fear being discovered as a fraud. Nevertheless, Steve Jobs reminded us that, “If you’re afraid of failing, you won’t get very far.”
As I read more about imposter syndrome, I recognized it is a common human experience and not a mental health issue. I have always felt that humility was important. I had a high school teacher who once told me, “When you’re great, you can afford to be humble.” I do not hold illusions of grandeur and I also do not feel comfortable “tooting my own horn” since my success might be questioned.
Imposter syndrome happens to me because I care about doing well. I have reasonable intelligence. I have worked hard, AND I have been privileged to know people who are brilliant. I can never measure up to them and I feel honored to be in their company. Even with doubts and the recognition of others’ preeminence, I am proud of what I have accomplished, and recognize that I have done my best with the opportunities I have had.
A colleague sent me an article recently that listed the top 2% of Sport, Leisure and Tourism scholars over their career ( https://elsevier.digitalcommonsdata.com/datasets/btchxktzyw/6). I was pleased to be on that list along with other distinguished colleagues that I have known in my profession. I am grateful for this recognition and realize that imposter syndrome niggles in my mind. My success is due to trusted mentors, supportive colleagues, encouraging friends, and enthusiastic students. I am trying to exercise psychological flexibility as I humbly revel in the recognition. Trepidation has made me try harder, and be humbler, in all that I undertake.
Totally understand but you are the real deal; period.