My parents graduated from the same high school two years apart. For years I heard them talk about their class reunions. The number of classmates, however, became fewer over time and eventually the formal reunions ended. My parents were among the last to pass of their peers. I did not give much thought to that reality for them until recently.
A friend from my Class of ’67 died a few weeks ago. As I grieved her passing, I realized that she was one of twelve classmates no longer with us. For a class of 48 (the largest ever to graduate from my high school, which was the same one my parents attended), one fourth were now gone. We still have plenty of folks to host a class reunion, but our numbers are sadly dwindling.
This truth for me is mind boggling. Where did the time go? My high school prom seems like yesterday. I mourn for those mates that passed too soon and recognize how fortunate I am to continue to be among the living. Based on the longevity of my parents, I hope I still have a few years to go but no one ever knows. I do not want to be overemotional, but I have been thinking about death more often in the past few weeks.
I recognize that death is inevitable. Senator Joni Ernst noted that “We are all going to die.” I prefer, however, what Haruki Murakami noted, “Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.” Most of us, nevertheless, would prefer to die later rather than sooner. Facing others’ deaths such as my classmates is more difficult that facing my own. In the time I have left, I want to live meaningfully. How can I live my life with gratitude and compassion?
Death is an unknown. The idea of heaven or reincarnation gives some peace. Regardless, the known is the hope that the impact of any person’s life can live on. As I think about my departed classmates, I recall them with warm memories. To know that their families and friends cherish their lives gives me comfort.
The reminder of death also brings me more fully into the present moment as I appreciate the time I have on this earth. I think about how blessed I have been in my own life as well as in knowing those people who have gone before me. My favorite book, Markings, by Dag Hammarskjöld has a quote that sums up my feelings at the moment, “Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.”
I, too, find myself thinking more about death, especially after mom left. I cant’ find a settled spot in my mind about it yet- I’ll continue to try to figure things out. But I really like that last quote.