Dear Mom,
A day never goes by that I don’t think about you and dad. During this Christmas time, however, I am poignantly aware of how much I miss you, mom, as I remember Christmases past and the things that you loved about Christmas.
You instilled in me a fondness for Christmas music and yearly traditions. In your passing I have come to appreciate Christmas more than I did when you were living. My memories of you at Christmas are gentle in my heart. I recall Christmas with you when you and dad still lived on the farm, years on the acreage near Cedar Rapids after you retired, and your final years after dad passed.
Regardless of the time, I cherish the delight you experienced in giving to others during the season and especially your love of Christmas music performed by choirs and choruses. One of the Christmas eve traditions both on the farm and after you moved was to go to church, drive around looking for Christmas lights, and then go home for Christmas eve snacks and listening to the public television presentations of Iowa college choirs such as at Wartburg and Luther. Dad would snooze as we enjoyed those youthful holiday choruses on TV.
Certain tunes I hear remind me of you and I smile: Do you Hear what I Hear? O Holy Night, O Come O Come Emmanuel, Ding, Dong Merrily on High, and your favorite, All is Well with my Soul.
After Dad died, it was just you and me on Christmas eve since my sisters had their own family traditions with our whole family gathering reserved for Christmas Day. In those five years without Dad, I took you to the late afternoon Christmas service, we drove around looking for lights, ate dinner and had a glass of wine at a nice Italian restaurant, and watched the public television performances in the evening. I will never forget the last Christmas eve we spent together at St Mark’s candlelight service. As I helped you stand and waited for the benediction, I looked over at you smiling as the light reflected on your face by your candle. I will always hold that image in my heart.
With you no longer on this earth, I will go to a Christmas eve service this year to honor your love of that event. I will make myself a Christmas eve snack and listen to religious Christmas music that never grows tiring. I will remember you, mom, and know that “all is well with your soul” and you are now singing Christmas tunes with the angels.
Love, Karla
A beautiful Christmas love letter Karla . Thanks for sharing.
I had trouble reading this post because words were blurred by my watery eyes…. kind of the hallmark moment in the blog world I guess. It is a great letter- pretty sure your mom read it.
Lovely lovely tribute to your mom. I too went to church with my mom on Christmas Eve and although neither of us could sing, we sang our hearts out to Come on ye Faithful and other songs.