Month: May 2025

My mom used to say to me when I was upset about something as a child that, “This, too, shall pass.” I am not sure if that was the best advice sometimes, but it was a way to move away from obsessive thinking. Today I see the phrase as a precursor to what resilience means for me.

I wrote recently about how trees adapt to climate change–resistance, resiliency, and transition. Being resilient related to withstanding and/or recovering from difficult situations struck a chord for me.

Resilient people know that even when things are problematic, they can keep going until they make it through. Instead of despairing or hiding using unhealthy coping strategies, resilient people face life’s demands head-on. One of the concepts that youth development research frequently addresses is related to how to help kids be resilient. Children often face difficult situations that they have little control over, and yet with support, they can persevere and thrive.

I know people whom I admire for their resilience. Individuals have overcome illnesses to recover to a healthy life. Others have lost significant others both early and later in life and have managed to continue and find ways to be happy.

I feel fortunate to have not faced the catastrophes that others have experienced. The most challenging time for me was when I was denied tenure at the University of Wisconsin. I seriously contemplated leaving higher education and doing something else unknown at the time. I continued, however, into the career that I had desired as an educator and researcher. I was able to thrive beyond that setback. I am grateful that I was resilient.

Emotional resilience also involves regulating emotions during times of stress. Resilient people can calm their mind and manage their emotions when they are dealing with negative experiences. Even with unimaginable circumstances, resilience allows people to not just survive but prosper. I strive to be one of those people who have purpose, a social network, problem-solving skills, optimism, and the ability to act.

I don’t know what “doing thing” means. I have a terrible time doing nothing. My upbringing valued hard work. Retirement offers a reprieve from busyness and labor that I have yet to experience.

The Protestant work ethic, a concept popularized by sociologist Max Weber, is the belief that hard work, discipline, and frugality are morally virtuous and lead to success. It suggests that diligence and worldly success are signs of divine favor. This ethic played a key role in shaping my individual responsibility. I was indoctrinated by the ideas. I feel best when I have a full schedule and a moderate “to do” list. Yet, I also recognize that doing nothing could and perhaps, should, be a daily habit.

To “do nothing” has varied meanings. At its simplest, it refers to a state of inactivity—refraining from work, movement, or deliberate action. It may mean a lack of physical or mental effort such as resting or relaxing, simply sitting, lying down, or engaging in mindless activities like staring out a window. It can be effortless action rather than forcing outcomes.

Further, philosophically, “doing nothing” can also be an intentional act such as meditation, reflection, or simply allowing events to unfold without interference. Buddhists suggest that non-action allows for a sense of observing thoughts without reacting to them, which can be peaceful.

It’s easy to get caught up in the “doing” of life and not simply “being.” Yet, I long to rest, recover, and allow myself to be unproductive without guilt. Although hard to implement, I have committed myself to do “nothing” periodically. That desire comes from the privilege I have due to limited caregiving responsibilities and financial stability. Therefore, I ought to be able to consciously do nothing, hang loose, and enjoy rather than feel guilty about that time spent on what appears to be unproductive.

I am learning that doing nothing might look like idleness, but it can be a conscious way of engaging with life, avoiding unnecessary struggle, and focusing on deep reflection. I need that right now. After 75 years, that approach is not easy, but intentional inaction from time to time is worth considering.

The older I get, the more I recognize how complicated the world is. I am partial to the Chinese philosophy of yin and yang that describes the dualistic nature of the universe as well as the substantial relationships. It represents the idea that opposite forces are interconnected, interdependent, and constantly in flux.

Yin is typically associated with qualities such as darkness, passivity, femininity, and the moon, while Yang represents light, activity, masculinity, and the sun. Rather than being absolute opposites, Yin and Yang complement each other. They balance to create harmony in nature, human life, and the cosmos. The symbol of Yin and Yang, the Taijitu, illustrates this balance with swirling black (Yin) and white (Yang) sections, each containing a dot of the opposite color, signifying that within each force lies a seed of the other.

Similarly, the notion of “both/and” rather than “either/or” is a personal and professional philosophy of mine. Rather than focus on hyperbole, I acknowledge that like yin and yang, ideas can complement each other.

I was reminded of the yin and yang on my recent vacation. Although being away from home is a contrast to daily activities, I cannot help but think about both as I travel. I love being away and then I love being back home.

The yin and yang also remind me of other contrasts in my world. For example, I love the outdoors and the differing experiences I have with landscapes. I see order and chaos, solitude and community, and cacophony and harmony. Recognizing these differences is a way to realize the richness of where I live, as well as the larger world.

I am seeing the yin and yang, the “both/and” as I remember by dear sweet cat, Mog. I mourn her loss but smile as I remember our days together. To dwell on only one emotion is to miss the value of contrasts—happiness for 15 years with her, and sadness because she is no longer physically with me.

Contradictory to yin yang is the amount of hyperbole I experience every day. I am tired of hearing exaggerated statements or claims about things being the greatest or the best. It reminds me that life is not meant to be lived in exaggerations or in statements that are dichotomously right or wrong. Yin yang helps me understand my emotions in this complex world.

Mog Henderson, 15 (74 cat years), passed away suddenly at her home in Estes Park, Colorado on May 7, 2025. She waited for her mom to return home from a trip, enjoyed a few pats on the head, and then collapsed and died.

Mog was born in 2010 in rural North Carolina. She was a mini-me of her mother who was a brown tabby just like her. She had two sisters and a brother. Gitch Henderson was adopted at the same time as her. Nothing is known about the rest of the biological family.

Mog lived in North Carolina for 4 years before moving to Colorado when her adopted mom, Karla, retired. She led a normal indoor cat life longing to be outdoors but content to be safe inside with a cool breeze on her face and a warm sunny spot for sleeping during the daytime.

Mog was an independent cat and loyal companion to her mom. More than that, she was a daughter, sister, comforter, purring machine, sometimes writer, critical editor, snoozer, and cuddler. Mog was curious, agile, gentle, and affectionate. She was never aggressive to anyone (except her brother on occasion). She had beautiful big green eyes that were expressive and looked into her mom’s soul.

Mog was a lifelong supporter of her mom. She provided joy in her stately but quiet affection. She was a sounding board for ideas that mom verbalized. She loved to see her mom laugh and was by her side when things were not going so well. She endured her adoptive mom’s tirades about concerns in her life.

No memorial service will be held. Friends and family can give their darlings extra pets today and every day of their lives as the end can come quickly. Mog awaits at the end of the rainbow bridge for her mom and siblings to come and claim her again. In the meantime, she will frolic, meet new friends, and keep a constant eye on her mom, brother, and friends in Estes Park, North Carolina, and elsewhere.