With the new year, I am buoyed by the hope of hope. “Hope isn’t always loud and obvious. Sometimes hope is a tiny, fragile thing. Something warm you hold in your heart and tend to so it can grow.”
I have been in a state of mourning for almost two months. Hope has been elusive. As I understand grief and loss, the feelings of bereavement may never go away but will become less frequent and less disconcerting. Hope is the antidote to the sadness I feel.
I have appreciated knowing the stages of grief described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1969) in her book On Death and Dying. The stages are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. When someone loses a relationship or a job, they often feel a loss of identity. Although I have not focused directly on politics in this blog, I cannot ignore the feelings that I now have. The United States I envisioned has disappeared. Therefore, as Howard Zinn encouraged, I am looking for strength and faith to do what I can to shape the world I want in the coming new year. I also remind myself that human history is not only about cruelty, but also about compassion, courage, and kindness.
Articulating the stages has helped me understand my feelings. I am aware that these do not apply to everything and don’t happen in order. For example, denial relates to difficulty I have had in understanding why politics have gone as they have. Anger continues to surface for me. Depression has been my most prominent feeling. I vacillate between feeling directionless and thinking things will someday be OK.
Painting by Albert Bierstadt
The final stage of grief is acceptance– learning to live with a loss, learning to live with hope—darkness AND light. Anne Lamott in a recent article described how Albert Bierstadt used both light and dark to make his paintings of mountains dynamic. In 2025 I want to continue to love others, and work to change what I can toward justice in my communities. I am seeking to spend time with those people who are good and kind, and to continue to do what I can in my universe to make it a better place to live. In 2025 I will live with darkness and act with the hopefulness of spinning the world in a light-filled direction.
Happy New 2025!