Month: April 2023

Have you ever noticed that sometimes an activity you’ve done becomes better over time as you reminisce about it, even though it may not have been so wonderful at the time? Many activities that we undertake in life are comprised of more than just an actual event.

I loved teaching my students about the concept of a recreation experience. The framework was something that they could understand. A recreation experience was defined by researchers in the 1960’s as a multiphase experience consisting of five major aspects: anticipation, travel-to, onsite activity, travel-back, and recollection.

I used the example with my students that if they woke up this morning and someone told them today was Christmas, it would not have the same impact as all the actions that one takes to prepare for Christmas day. If that Christmas day was over and you had no memory of it, the same enjoyment and significance would not be evident for that year.

A recreation experience is the sum of all its parts–looking forward to it, traveling to and from as in the case of a vacation, the actual activity, and then the recollection and story-telling about the activity. Sometimes an activity does not go as planned, but it ends up in good stories to share with others at its conclusion.

I am about to embark on a 2-week trip for sightseeing and hiking. I am going with three friends. We have spent considerable time planning and preparing. Together we have shared emails, zoom calls, and conversations about logistics and tours we want to do. Sharing in the planning and being excited together has added immensely to the trip even though it has not yet occurred.

I do not know what our trip will behold. I do not look forward to flying for hours, and I want to enjoy passing that time. We are planning for the worst and hoping for the best.

One of the best phases of doing a trip is returning home and sharing with others regarding the activities. I will let you know how it goes. In the meantime, I am enjoying preparation. I am anticipating meeting new people, learning about a different culture, sharing fun with friends, drinking good beer, and having stories to tell when we return to bring full circle to our recreation experience.

I was casually visiting about the weather with several friends. Each of us described an incident this winter when we had fallen on ice. One of the women remarked, “If only we could have 10 seconds back to have done something different to prevent the fall.” That comment got me thinking hypothetically about what I would do if I had 10 seconds back in my life on different occasions.

In the past month of March Madness, several teams would love to have had 10 seconds back. In my basketball playing days, I might have wished for that once or twice, but it makes no difference today. I am thinking about what I can do in the future to use 10 seconds to greater health and happiness.

Getting 10 seconds back is not possible. Thus, I contemplate how I can live so I don’t regret a passage of 10 seconds. If I took 10 more seconds from time to time, I could initiate something that I had hesitated, overlooked, or neglected: a positive comment to a friend, a hug, a note of encouragement. Similarly, I have said some things to people that I probably should not have said. Having 10 more seconds to stop and think might have prevented a hurtful or uncomfortable situation.

One of the reasons that I prefer to write rather than speak at times is because writing gives me the opportunity to pause for 10 seconds, or more, and reflect. I learned years ago that when I receive an email that is disturbing, I should let it sit for a bit before I fire off a response. With 10 seconds or more, I can craft a response that is diplomatic and not regrettable.

I can’t get 10 seconds back, but I can be mindful of what 10 seconds might mean. I found Cheryl Strayed’s (author of Wild) reflection as worthy of consideration: “But if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t do a single thing differently. What if all those things I did were the things that got me here?”

Regardless, I wish I had not fallen on the ice. I wish I had responded to someone in a different way. Coulda, shoulda, woulda! I hope I can learn from using every 10 seconds better in the future.

I never knew anyone to live to be 102 years old until now. This week my Uncle Bob Henderson will celebrate 102 years living in my hometown, Coggon, Iowa. Although this milestone may not be as well known in Iowa as the Hawkeye Women’s Basketball team, it is a big deal.

People live longer these days. Medical technology has helped. However, the part that is important is not the quantity but the quality of those years. My uncle Bob has had both quality and quantity. I hope others will be so fortunate.

My uncle is my dad’s oldest brother. My dad passed over 9 years ago at the respectable age of almost 92. He had a good life on the farm, too. In a recent article written about Coggon’s oldest resident, Uncle Bob said he has no regrets and “has lived a good life.” Don’t we all hope to make such a statement?

Uncle Bob was a farmer and also worked for most of his adult life in local banking. Before “retirement” he served as the secretary/treasurer of the local school board for 20 years. He has a legacy in Coggon as a volunteer extraordinaire. Small towns often struggle, and Bob did his best to help the community thrive and not just survive. He was a pioneer in the development of the Coggon Betterment Organization as well as the Coggon Historical Society.

This man saw great change in the 100 years since he grew up using only horses for farming. Much has been written about how to live a long and meaningful life. My Uncle Bob could be a model for what is important. In the article he stated, “I have enjoyed people, and I have enjoyed doing things for people.” Bob believes that the secret to life is getting along with one another.

My uncle was fortunate to be surrounded by a loving family as well as caring neighbors. He was married for 76 years before his wife passed recently. His two daughters have been by his side. My cousin, Mary, has been a devoted caregiver and moved in with her parents several years ago so they could “age in place.”

I am proud and grateful for my dad’s big brother. I know Uncle Bob will continue to enjoy life and inspire his family and friends. Happy Birthday!

Something I miss most about my mother’s passing four years ago this month is that I can’t just call her or go visit to share good things in my life. For several years, I looked forward daily to chatting with her about routine happenings as well as special moments.

I continually find, as W. Clement Stone suggested: “If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.” I am grateful that I have family and friends with whom I can share my joys, as well as sadness, and am recognizing how important sharing has become in my life.

Joy: First flower of spring on April 1, 2023 (photo by Jim Swaney)

I have not always been good at sharing. I consider myself a private person.  I need time to feel comfortable around others. I have worked hard to be a better conversationalist and have found that getting others to talk about themselves gets me off the hook. I also value humility in myself. Nevertheless, I am learning that communicating joy results in its doubling. Sharing is caring regardless of the content.

Volunteering at Rocky Mountain National Park reflects the impact of sharing. I love to hear people exclaim how beautiful our park is. Their sharing reminds me about my joy in living here, although I usually do not need to have my consciousness jogged. I love people who come into the Visitor Center with their phones out eager to show a photo of what they just saw in the park-a coyote, a moose, a flower, a bird. I appreciate another quote I saw, “Life is not about making others happy. Life is about sharing your happiness with others.”

When something good happens to me, I am eager to share with special others. I do not do so in a bragged manner, but as a way to connect. I eagerly accept it when others impart significant moments of pride and joy with me. Just yesterday a friend shared a video of the spring lambs on her farm who were running and jumping (with joy) in the warm sunshine.

These ideas may seem a bit “cheesy.” Yet, as I acknowledge the four years since my mother passed, I remember how much I miss communicating about joy—hearing her updates on family affairs as well as my giving her a rundown of the good (and bad) things that constitute my day. I am grateful for others who “get” me and am grateful that I have had significant opportunities for joy AND sharing over the years.