Month: June 2022

My goal each day is to live in the moment and enjoy my busy life. Sometimes I am unsuccessful because of useless emotions. Guilt and worry can steal away peaceful moments. I can’t avoid these feelings, but I am conscious of the energy they take that could be used in other ways.

In articles written several years ago in Psychology Today, authors discussed the useless emotions of guilt and worry. Worry looks ahead and sees potential threat at every turn. Guilt looks behind focusing on mistakes and disappointments. Guilt cannot change the past and worry cannot change the future.

I sometimes experience guilt when I wake up in the middle of the night and cannot get back to sleep. It seems that every wrong I ever committed pops into my mind until I can count enough sheep to fall back asleep. Irrational guilt is based on “should haves.” Rational guilt is centered on one’s values and expectations of self. Either one can cause me to waste time thinking about something that I can no longer control.

I did the best that I could do with my life most times. On the other hand, I could have done better. I hope I learned from those mistakes and will not worry about repeating them in the future.

Worry is something that comes easily to me. I am becoming better at assessing what I can and cannot control. Planning is important. I can take reasonable measures to safeguard my health and personal interests. Worrying, however, increases my anxiety and does not necessarily help me do my best to be ready for the future. Worry without preparedness adds emotional baggage that heightens my anxiety and interferes with my ability to function.

Since the wildfires in our area in 2020 unnerved me, I do worry about fires. On the other hand, I do what I can do to try to reduce fire hazards around my home. And, this time, I have a better plan for evacuation if needed. I can’t control wildfires, but I can be ready and worry less.

As I try to be mindful and live in the moment, I am finding that guilt and worry can be at odds with a life that celebrates the goodness of what is happening around me. I am learning from guilt and assessing worry to use them to be a better human being in the future.

Sheep Lakes is an area in Rocky Mountain National Park’ Horseshoe Park where sheep come in the summer to lick the minerals along the edges of the small lakes/ponds. The landscape is verdant in the spring where animals including sheep, moose, coyotes, elk, geese, ducks, Wyoming ground squirrels, and voles and mice share the space.

A coyote family built a den in the middle of meadow about 200 yards from the parking lot this year. With binoculars and high-powered cameras lenses, one got close view of the den. The family of coyotes consisted of three adults and nine pups. The adults came and went as they hunted in the meadow. The pups popped up to play in the sunshine or nurse from their mom.

As the story was relayed to me, one early morning two adult coyotes went out hunting. They came upon a newborn elk calf hidden by its mom near the meadow. They drug it away toward their den pleased that this would be a much bigger treat than catching mice and ground squirrels for their hungry offspring.

Several elk moms came charging over toward the den and began kicking at the coyotes who proceeded to drop the calf. One of the cows nudged the calf and got it up and walking away. It was escorted to safety by cows who had freed it.

Two of the elk mommas then returned to the den and began jumping up and down on it as if scolding the coyotes for even thinking about taking one of their young. One pup peeked its head out temporarily but retreated quickly. Apparently satisfied, the elk moved away and headed up into the trees away from the meadow.

I did not see this episode firsthand, but it reflected the circle of life in the wild. Had I been there, I would have cheered for the elk calf. On the other hand, feeding those hungry pups is no small task for coyote adults. I am glad I was not present for the drama. Yet, it reminds me of the Lion King and the circle of life:

In the circle of life

It’s the wheel of fortune

It’s the leap of faith

It’s the band of hope…

In the circle, the circle of life.

I hope that elk calf has a long life, and I also hope the coyote pups survive. The value of public lands like Rocky Mountain National Park is that it is a place to balance ecology—a place for conservation, preservation, and acknowledging the circle of life.

Update as of June 19, 2022: The Coyotes have moved their den twice and it is no longer visible from the Sheep Lakes parking lot. Visitors have reported that seven pups are still alive.

The 3 C’s of Life: Choices, Chances, Changes. You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change. (author unknown)

These ideas sum most everyone’s past, present, and future. Choices sometimes require great deliberation and other times they are readily discernible. Deciding to take a job has long term consequences. Choosing something from a restaurant menu has limited benefits or costs. Sometimes choices are not an option.

When I make a choice, I have set on a direction that means I cannot have other options, at least at that point. If it doesn’t work, additional opportunities to choose may be possible but may require patience until the timing is right. Having lots of choices is welcome but can also be overwhelming.

I cannot make a choice without taking a chance. Often the chances are calculable. Going through life without making any choices is not possible, so thinking about the chances based on thoughtful reflection is important. I cannot control the outcomes of all choices but considering the worst and best implications may make deciding less scary.

Any choice made in life will result in change. Although cliché, change is the only consistent aspect of most people’s lives. I am getting better at embracing change as I get older. Although things happen to me, and I experience good parts of my day that I wish I could hold on to forever, the reality is that change is inevitable. Embracing change and adjusting my attitude toward change, however, is an ongoing process.

Sometimes change happens and we don’t have a choice. Unanticipated and abrupt change, such as the passing of a loved one, is difficult to navigate. I recognize that my life could change on a dime, whether I have a choice or take a chance. I am grateful for each day that allows me to make choices.

My life makes sense when I think of it as a series of choices, chances, and changes. Having the expectation that change will occur can be exciting, and at the same time, daunting. Having opportunities for choices and change makes daily living easier. Adapting to change because of choices and chances, or not, is a continual challenge.

4:00pm Gitch: Mom should be home soon. I am hungry.

Mog: Me too! I guess I could get up and stretch my legs, so I am ready to rub on her legs when she arrives.

4:15pm Gitch: Where is mom? Doesn’t she know it is time for our supper?

Mog: Chill, brother, she might have gotten detained at the Info Office today. You know that happens when they get a caller at 3:59pm who has questions. Don’t you remember her coming home and grumbling about that?

Gitch: Yes, but that doesn’t happen every day. Where is she? My breakfast kibble has worn off and I have been busy all day guarding the house, while you snoozed on the desk chair.

Mog (Yawning). When she left this morning, she just told us her usual “Love you” and didn’t say anything about being late. I’m not worried.

4:35pm Gitch: Where is she? She’s late.

Mog: I am getting a little peckish, too. We must be patient, my brother.

5:00 Gitch: I am getting worried. What if she doesn’t come home?

Mog: She always comes home, or she sends someone to feed us. Remember she was just gone for 2 weeks, and Skyler was here twice a day. I did miss cuddling with her at night even though we were well fed.

5:30 Gitch: OMG. Where is she? What if something happened to her? What if she never comes home?

Mog: She will be here. Besides, I remember her telling us that if she was no longer around, she had provided for our care in her Trust Fund. She said if anything happened to her, there would be someone to take care of us and make sure we have the best food and medical care possible.

Gitch: I want Momma Karla, not her stupid money to buy us food and meds. I will try to calm myself and just lay on the bed and wait.

5:40 Gitch: Did you hear something? Was that the garage door opening? Is that the sound of the Subaru? Is she home? I must run fast and greet her at the door.

Mog: Me too!

Gitch: I’m starving, and I hope she gets inside quickly. I want to quit worrying, go back to living in the moment as cats are supposed to do, and just EAT!

5:42 Karla: Hi kitties. Did you have a good day? I am sorry I am a little late—I had to run errands. Are you ready for supper?

Gitch: Damn tootin’ we are! Meow, meow, meow!!!

When people talk about leisure experiences, they may refer to routine activities as well as special events and activities. Leisure researchers refer to these as CORE and BALANCE experiences. Both are important and the special times are often most memorable.

Core activities are common, every day, low cost, and usually home centered. Balance activities are less common, less frequent, out of the ordinary opportunities. Vacations are an example of balance, but balance activities need not be that extensive.

As I grow older, I appreciate the core activities of my everyday life. I like routine and continuity. I like days that are “uneventful.” On the other hand, I look forward to special times that deviate from my varied routine. As summer comes, I think about the core and balance activities that I remember growing up.

Routine activities (e.g., chores) on the farm were necessary and mundane. I did not mind feeding my sheep and looking after them every day. Dad and I were happy for an “ordinary” day because it meant there were no crises.

When I reflect on summers on the farm, however, I recall with fondness the impromptu times after work was done. One special family outing was to go to the nearby county park, Pinicon Ridge, on Sunday evenings and have a cookout. Mom prepared the side dishes (it was not non-routine for her!) and then we would grill steaks, pork chops, or lamb burgers. These outings were usually just the immediate family since we sometimes did not know what the day would bring, especially when fieldwork came first.

Other balance events that occurred were random evenings when my aunts and uncles and cousins, or neighbors, would get together for “dessert.” Sometimes we would have a watermelon that had been chilling in a cow tank all day. Other times it would be apple crisp or fresh berry pie. A special treat was making hand churned homemade ice cream. I recall the competition with my sisters to lick the pulled paddles from the ice cream maker.

In retirement today it feels like I have choices regarding core and balance activities. I appreciate my daily schedule of writing, volunteering in the park, and hiking. On the other hand, I love parties with friends as well as occasional nights to dine out. I relish opportunities to travel, and I know how glad I am to return to my core routine.